tales of an ordinary girl

Welcome to the finale of America's Psychic Challenge. I'm sorry it took me so long to get around to this post. I would like to say that it's worth the wait, but really, it's probably not.

As the episode starts the host begins with glowing reviews of the two finalists, Michelle and Jackie. He said something completely incomprehensible at the beginning like: Time and time again they've come out on top proving that they have a special gift.

Really? Or maybe neither one of them is all that good, but they're able to out-bullshit the other psychics in the competition. Or, if I were to compete against 15 other average-looking women, maybe I'd win. But that doesn't make me a beauty queen.

Then they went on to describe the finalists as being in a duel of light and darkness. Well, look for yourself. Yes, they both do look a little "dark" and "light".

Of course, both mentioned God. Michelle went as far to say that an angel of God walked with her. I wonder if he's supposed to be her spirit guide. Hey, maybe if he wasn't helping her bullshit her way through this competition he could be like maybe saving babies in Africa.

Anyway, on with the tasks.

Task #1: Find a Man Buried Alive
A "coffin" with a man in it was buried in a 10 acre wilderness. The coffin was a wooden box with some equipment in it (not sure for what except that it looked like he was possibly miked). It was buried about an inch under the ground by shoveling a bit of dirt back on it. Now what happened to the dirt that was displaced by the coffin? Well, later we see backhoe tracks, so perhaps it was spread out about 50 yards away from where the coffin was.

Now, unless this "10 acre" wilderness area can be traversed in less than 30 minutes, I call bullshit. It looks like the psychics had about a 100-200 yard by 100-200 yard area to search. And the man was buried near a prominent landmark, the only landmark marked on the map the show supplied.

A licensed Private Investigator that we've seen in other episodes judged the two psychics based on confidence and accuracy. He could award from 0 - 25 points. The psychics were given 30 minutes to find the man.

Michelle was up first. She walked around for quite a bit of time before finally walking on top of the coffin. But she was unsure so she went back to another spot, then back to the coffin spot, etc., until she finally decided on the exact location of the coffin.

Now maybe there's something to that. It's pretty impressive that she got the exact spot, even if it's a minimal 100 x 100 yard area (larger than a football field). However, she had two people with her as she was deciding on the spot (the host and PI) that were giving her non-verbal clues each time she approached the coffin. Also, with only an inch of soil over the coffin, it's possible she heard it as she walked over it. The man in the coffin said later that he heard them walk over it several times and the show gave the impression that he could hear them talking from within the coffin.

The PI was impressed and awarded Michelle 25 points.

Jackie decided that she wanted to be fast and confident rather than accurate. She stomped around (she mentioned this was a Native American ritual or something of the kind) until choosing a hill of dirt (possibly left by the backhoes) after just 9 minutes.

She ended up being about 50 yards away from the man, but she claimed that it would still be of use to investigators. I think a sonic scanner would be more useful. She was awarded 15 points.

Task #2: Turn a Skeptic into a Believer
For this task the psychics had to do readings on two skeptics and turn them into believers. Each psychic was given a different skeptic to read so that the first psychic wouldn't influence the results of the second.

Lisa Williams was back to judge each psychic. She explained how it's difficult to read a skeptic because they're like a closed door. Or maybe it's because we're not as impressed with bullshit generalizations. Lisa could award from 0 - 25 points based on her impression of the reading from a remote location.

They each had 30 minutes.

Michelle went first. Her "skeptic" said he was cynical, but open minded. She made some general guesses and the skeptic confirmed anything she got close with the specifics. It was a typical cold reading. At the end he said he was not a believer, but he was impressed by some of the things she got right. Lisa awarded her 20 points.

Jackie started in on her voodoo magic by feeling the aura of her skeptic and making some general guesses based on his appearance. She was less scary and more funky and funny than she had be in previous challenges. The fact that she was likable went a long way towards impressing the skeptic and the judge. Lisa awarded her 21 points.

Task #3: Crime Scene
For this task the psychics had to investigate a cold case for the San Bernardino police department. A couple went missing and was found buried in a park after their dead dog was discovered nearby. There were no real suspects and no arrests had ever been made. The case was from 2001 (I think) or about 7 years old.

There were three parts to the case. A reading at the site the bodies were recovered from, a reading at the vehicle at an impound lot that was thought to be involved in the case, and a reading with three friends of the lady killed in the case.

An investigator from the police department judged the two psychics giving from 0 - 40 points.

Michelle immediately claimed that the woman had been violated physically and sexually and the man had taken quite a beating. She also mentioned puncture wounds and a black SUV. She kept talking about how sad it was and got very emotional. She repeated much of the same when giving a reading at the vehicle (a white SUV). And later when she met with the three friends of the murder victim she argued with them about the details when they claimed she was being too general.

Jackie mentioned strangulation immediately and then kept mentioning the DNA, that the investigator would find his evidence in the DNA from the male victim's fingernails. Hmm.. you know, if they hadn't tried that already I'd say they're pretty crappy detectives. She even wrote DNA on the impounded vehicle several times. When talking to the three friends, she was charming, telling them that she'd seen their friend three times. She also mentioned she was seeing a child, which they immediately identified as the couple's dog. He was like a child to them.

She said she was giving them pieces of the puzzle and when they came together it would "mean something". Well, thank you, Captain Obvious.

The Results
Jackie entered the final challenge with 36 points and Michelle with 45 points. The host reminds us though that Jackie's specialty is crime scenes. And Jackie did do better on the last task and was awarded 32 points, for a total of 68. That meant that Michelle needed at least 24 points to win. And she got 25 points, giving her a total of 70, the highest score in the challenge so far (not surprisingly since there were no selection tasks this time).

As we leave the episode Michelle tells us she's so happy that she's shown how light triumphs over darkness. Jackie reminds us that we can never get a full Jackie experience on television and she's not disappointed that she didn't win.

Viewer Participation
At each commercial break they show items and ask the viewers to use their psychic powers to determine the outcome. So how did I do this week?

I only saw two of these this week. Maybe I fast forwarded past one?

At the first break they showed three men and asked which one rides a unicycle. Matt and I both chose the man on the right and we were correct.

At the second break they showed a man and asked if he was a guitar player, a web designer, or a cook. Matt and I both selected web designer, though Matt was slightly in favor of cook. And he was a guitar player (and singer!).

Which makes me 1 for 2 tonight, or 11 out of 23 total. Overall I still did worse than 50/50. Don't come to me for psychic insights!

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