Monday, December 10, 2007

Today is my third wedding anniversary. Three years isn't all that long, I know, but I feel happy when I think about it. It'll be eight years in the Spring since we first started dating. Sometimes it's hard to remember my life before Matt and sometimes it seems like it's been too short of a time. That may be cliche, but it's true.

There was a long time we debated whether or not to get married. My reasons were probably a little different than Matt's. For both of us, we felt that we were committed to each other and we didn't need anyone sanctioning our relationship. For me, I also didn't like the religious connotations to marriage. I wanted to have a religion-free marriage (though I still didn't call myself an atheist), but I didn't want to impose a bunch of hard line rules on a ceremony. In the end we eloped without friends or family, celebrating together.

We were unconventional. We both wore jeans (though mine were under my dress). It snowed and we were 30 minutes late getting to the courthouse. We saw a bad movie afterwards and were chased out into the cold by fire alarms and burning popcorn. It was perfect.

Friends and family mean a lot to us and I still feel a little selfish about wanting something just for us. But in the end I wouldn't want it to be different. And we got to surprise people with pictures and stories when we visited a few weeks later for the holidays.

I'm incredibly lucky. My husband and I have a great relationship. Sure, we fight occasionally, but it's not often. We agree more often than we don't and most importantly we're not petty. We try to understand each other rather than jump to conclusions.

We still say, "I love you," several times a day and we still kiss and hug a lot too. It's hard to be distant emotionally from someone you're close to physically. It's not the giddy feeling most of the time anymore, but it's a more comfortable, deeper form of affection.

I feel most lucky because I've found someone that loves me through even the rough patches and always supports me. I've always been independent because I didn't want to rely on someone. If I only ever relied on myself then I couldn't be disappointed. But it makes life so much more limiting to be that way. I'm glad that I found someone I can depend on. I admire him for the person he is.

My husband doesn't read my blog and probably will never read this, but I wanted to say it anyway. I've tried to express in words how much he means to me countless times, and it always falls short. But I think he knows.

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11 comments: to “ Anniversary

  • Paul
    Monday, December 10, 2007 at 1:55:00 PM CST  

    A beautiful post! Thank you for sharing that!

  • The Exterminator
    Monday, December 10, 2007 at 2:34:00 PM CST  

    The fact that he doesn't read your blog is probably part of the reason you're still together. He doesn't get to see those terrible things you say about him all the time.

    I'll bet you're checking this post out today. So I'll say right away that I'm just kidding. As far as I know -- and I've been reading this blog for a while -- your wife has never said anything negative about you.

    Congratulations to you both on your third. Which anniversary is that? I know it's not "paper" or "silver." It's either "computer accessories" or "sex toys," I can't remember which.

    Oh, wait a minute, Matt! She did say on another blog that you hate signing Christmas cards. So further congratulations to you both on surviving that battle every year.

  • ordinary girl
    Monday, December 10, 2007 at 3:19:00 PM CST  

    Oh, wait a minute, Matt! She did say on another blog that you hate signing Christmas cards. So further congratulations to you both on surviving that battle every year.

    That's not a bad thing, that's just a preference. And I hope I never do say a bad thing. I guess that's something to add. We don't gossip about each other to other people. Do you know how nice it is to have in-laws that don't hate you? :)

  • Anonymous
    Monday, December 10, 2007 at 3:21:00 PM CST  

    Very nice post. It's clear that the years you've spent together are not an adequate measure of the maturity of your relationship. I wish you many more wonderful years together.

  • John Evo
    Monday, December 10, 2007 at 5:59:00 PM CST  

    OG - congratulations to you and Matt and it sounds like you have a great relationship. I, as a 25 year vet, am jealous of many of the aspects of your relationship that my wife and I don't have. On the other hand, she is a great friend and co-parent. She thanks her blessings and I'm just glad things have managed to work out as well as they have. It could have been a lot worse.

  • Janet
    Monday, December 10, 2007 at 7:48:00 PM CST  

    Congratulations! Isn't it great when you're with someone who just meshes with you so very well?!

  • ordinary girl
    Monday, December 10, 2007 at 8:52:00 PM CST  


    No relationship is perfect and I certainly don't mean to imply that ours is. We have our disagreements too over politics and if we ever have kids it might be more apparent. But I do think we have a good underlying relationship that would see us through anything.

    And I can't help but sing his praise because he's just incredible.

  • Venjanz
    Tuesday, December 11, 2007 at 4:49:00 AM CST  

    Happy Anniversary!

    As somebody that has had the honor of being friends with Matt (and his gay brother) for 22 years, and have bared witness to many of his ups and downs throughout life, I now think he may be the luckiest Man I have ever known.


  • ordinary girl
    Tuesday, December 11, 2007 at 5:00:00 AM CST  

    V, that was sweet.* Thanks!

    *except for the gay brother part... ;)

  • rome
    Tuesday, December 11, 2007 at 5:10:00 AM CST  

    Hi there, I was reading your story and it made me think because of the husband is called Matteo, in english it would be Matt and we've known each other for 8 years and been married for 3 years. Strange eh? Our relationship is a bit "dynamic" meaning that we do argue because of different ideas and points of view but we are very close.

  • Mamacita Chilena
    Wednesday, December 12, 2007 at 1:01:00 PM CST  

    congratulations, three years is nothing to scoff about, especially in this day and age when marriage is considered temporary.

    i totally relate to just wanting to do the wedding in your own way and not have it be a religious thing. of course you know that because you read my blog :)


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