tales of an ordinary girl

I stole this meme from Shefaly because it looked like fun.

In five syllables, no more, no less, describe the worst movie you can think of. Bonus points if you have to show off your Google skills because you can’t remember the name of it and all you can come up with is that it features Roz Russell and Sandra Dee. Turns out it was some tripe called Rosie! Exclamation point the producers’ idea, not mine.“Auntie Mame leavings.”

In seven syllables, no more, no less, describe your worst date. Bonus points if it was sordid. Subtract points if it sounds too much like an overweight fifteen year old Goth girl.“He pushed my head down. I puked.”

In five syllables, no more, no less, describe the worst job you ever had. Extra bonus points if it consists of Grim. Taxi dancer. Miss Janey, I’m talking to you. I had a miserable spell where I sat all alone in an empty office, handing out the keys to various hell holes for rent around New Orleans. One Lady came back and complained there was no window in the kitchen, I pretended to sympathize and said something like “Yes it would be nasty to have no light and air in there.” She replied “No, hone, you don unnerstan. Dere’s a hole for de winna but ain’t no winna in it.” “Slum lord in training.”

Put it all together and you have a haiku of life’s low points.

Hmm.. this is difficult because I usually forget the unpleasant things over time. But let's try it with this:

poorly drawn cartoons
uncomfortable silence
teenage sweat and angst

The worst movie? Dragons of Autumn Twilight. The only thing that remotely saved the movie in any way was that I hadn't read the book so I didn't have any expectations. Combining live action with badly-drawn cartoons isn't really a good idea.

The worst date? A guy from church asked me out when I was 16 or 17. We went to a nice Italian restaurant. I ordered first and he just asked for water because he said his stomach was upset. He sat in uncomfortable silence while I ate and then he took me home. Later when I thought about it I realized that maybe he didn't order because he couldn't cover both meals. I don't know. Maybe his stomach really was upset.

The worst job? I worked at an amusement park when I was 18. Because I was 18 I got to work on a ride instead of food service or clean-up. The ride I worked on was the lamest ride of all - Blackbeard's Revenge. It was supposed to be an optical illusion of a boat swinging over, but it was easy to tell that it was just the walls moving. It was popular because it was air conditioned. Supervisors were a few years older than the rest of us and had been at the park longer. And boy, they loved to lord it over us. The place smelled like sweat and youth and pissed on dreams. I quit after a week.

Hmmm... I don't think those were really my life's low points, but there you go.

I'm tagging no one, but have fun with it if you'd like.