tales of an ordinary girl

I haven't had much time to post lately between the new job, school, school assignments, and attempting to relax on the weekends. We've been going out a lot on the weekends, so I haven't even been home much then.

But.. things are going well. I still have this pervasive tiredness that's nagging at me with headaches sometimes and very occasionally shortness of breath. I don't really think they're related though. I've had all of these things before at some point in my life and I think it's just how my body works. I just wish the tiredness would pass.

Tonight I got the critique of my story in class and it was a lot of good feedback. I wish I would have spent more time on it. I would like to go back and revise it now, certainly before the portfolio is due, but I don't know when I will have time.



Is 'Speculative Fiction' a real term in writing? Do most people know it. I wanted to bring it up in class because there was quite a bit of discussion about whether or not my story was fantasy or historical fiction (and even one suggestion I turn it into a "bodice ripper"). I think I'm going to have to handle the romantic scenes well in order to keep the innocence of the character and yet make the story realistic. I'll have to ask my male friends what they think.

Anyway, I'm off to bed. I'm really wanting to tear into this story, but I don't think I have the energy for it tonight. Tomorrow night is class and Thursday is usually busy. Maybe I'll find time over the weekend. Or maybe I'll be able to sneak in some time at work. It's a word document. It looks like work, right?

I started the new job on Monday. It wasn't good for the first few days. I didn't have a computer and it was like pulling teeth to get one. I didn't think it could get worse, but it did today. And then I got my laptop. It's kind of crappy, but it's so good to be able to do work rather than just sitting around trying to look like I'm worth having around.

I finally finished my creative writing short story assignment on Tuesday afternoon in time to turn in for the Tuesday evening class. I stayed up late a couple of nights and really pushed through some writers block to finish it. I like the story, but I still don't like how it was written. In the last little bit I didn't even get a chance to read over it through from beginning to end before I had to print it out, so I hope I didn't have any continuity errors.

I've been feeling very tired lately and not so great physically. I hope it will pass after this week.

There's no plans so far for this weekend and I really want to catch up on some sleep and relax. I also want to get some more things moved to storage. So, hopefully, I'll get one or the other accomplished.

Tuesday was my last day at my old job. It was a bittersweet day. It was good to leave all of the stress behind. I'll miss several of the people I worked with though.

I pretty much just goofed off at work from about 9:00 onwards and left around 1:30 (though I spent quite a while talking to Josie in the lobby before finally taking off).

While I was basically doing nothing, I came across a website about Castlerigg, which reminded me of my trip to the UK last year. Castlerigg is beautiful, absolutely beautiful. It has a great atmosphere that makes you feel almost like you're flying amongst the mountains.

It's one of the few public places where I've felt at home. Even though there were a half dozen other people there, I felt comfortable.

It's my second to the last day before I'm jobless.. for a short time. My new job starts on Monday. It feels good. I packed my few belongings this morning. It took all of 2 minutes.

I'm tired today. I stayed up a bit past midnight and then got up at 5 AM this morning. Ugh. And after lunch instead of getting caffine I got an Italian Steamer. It sounded good, but I didn't equate it to "warm milk" when I orderd. And that's pretty much what it is. Warm milk when you're already sleepy isn't a good thing.

But.. I only have an hour until I leave for the day. Matt's working days this week and so he'll probably be home when I get there. Maybe I can nap in front of the tv for a bit before dinner. I just wish it was as nice out as it was this weekend. It'd be nice to open the windows and listen to the wind. I need a screened back deck. Definitely a must have for the next house.

The weather is almost perfect tonight. It's warm. There's a slight breeze that's stirring the trees just enough to hear the leaves swishing. Off on the horizon there's flashes of lightning in the clouds far enough away that the thunder doesn't reach me. I am alone, sitting on my front porch.

It reminds me that spring isn't far away and that it's one of my favorite times of the year. I almost resent spring because it leads to summer, the most detestable season of all. I hate the heat. Even in dry heat I can only take the crushing pressure that feels like walking in an oven for so long before the air is sucked out of my lungs. But, inexplicably I love those few moments when the heat is pressing all around me. Then it's too much, too stifling.



But in spring, like in autumn everything is in flux. Change is in the air. People act differently. The laziness of summer and winter are left behind. Spring and fall are different. Perhaps it has something to do with all of those years we spend in school and the anticipation of change during those times. And even when we're out of school for good there is still that expectation that something will be different. Something will change.

I'm feeling strange today. I'm almost giddy. What an annoying word, giddy. Maybe giddy's not right. Maybe I'll just be slightly perplexed, but mostly happy today.

Work is going ok, although it's slightly uncomfortable since I'm leaving next week. It's been strange to have everyone tell me that they'll miss me. Even people I never really talked to. I guess people are at their best when they think they'll never see you again.

Matt's out of town. The house feels strange when it's empty. I normally like having the house to myself, but tonight it just feels empty. Does that mean something? If I dream about fish and clocks tonight does that mean something?

Really what I want to do is just go to sleep right now, but I know if I do that then I'll wake up in a couple of hours groggy and really hungry with no motivation to get food or make food. I'll get ill from not eating (not starve, mind you, since missing one meal can't make you starve) and grumpy. So instead it's finding food and then logging on to DDO to meet up with friends.



I always complain about not seeing friends and then when I get a chance to hang out with them, what do I do? I feel the need to sleep and miss out on the night. Yay me!

I received the written offer on Wednesday and gave my notice that same day. It's been hectic at work since then. I'm still trying to stay on top of all of the projects that I'm on, and also keep people informed and transfer knowledge to my Team Lead.

School has also been busier. I am a little ahead on the reading in one of my classes, but I still have to finish a rough draft for an assignment on Wednesday next week and my short story is due in 2 1/2 weeks. I keep re-thinking how I'm going to continue/finish the story, but I think I have a good handle on what I'm going to do. It's just up to having some alone time to write it. I have a lot of difficulty when there are distractions.

Spring break is the week after next and I won't be working the 15th - 17th, so hopefully, that will give me the time I need. But, I hate to procrastinate that long and I also don't know if Matt will be home from work those days, so it's better to get a first write in this weekend, if possible.

I'm feeling a little out of sorts. I'm a little nervous about my new job and I still have a week and a half left here to work in an uncomfortable situation. I have another meeting today sometime with the VP as he tries to talk me out of leaving again. I'm more determined now after talking to him again and seeing the "improvements" they're implementing.

But, I'm excited too. Things seem to be going my way lately and there's no reason not to feel optimistic. I feel like I'm finally back on track after being derailed by a layoff 4 years ago. I still will most likely go back to college in the fall and change careers, but at least for now things are going well. Let's see how long it takes me to complain about my new job. :P