abyss  

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Maybe I am depressed. Yesterday when I got home from work I just fell apart and started crying, tumbling into the abyss of my own self-pity. It wasn't anything big, but one thing after another just kept happening and I felt worse and worse until I lost it. Maybe it was just hormones. I've been trying to get my birth control refilled now for the past two weeks to no avail. I hate dealing with doctor's offices and insurance companies. Don't tell me that contraceptives aren't covered under my health care plan. I will find a fork for the head somewhere (stolen, yes, but great phrase).



Today is better. I'm frustrated about work still, but it's getting better. I actually have a kickoff meeting scheduled for tomorrow for my project, so I'm getting somewhere, at least.

Poor Matt. He has his own difficulties and now I'm being difficult too.

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quiz: painter  

Monday, May 22, 2006

Who Should Paint You: Pablo Picasso

Your an expressive soul who shows many emotions, with many subtleties
Only a master painter could represent your glorious contradictions

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gone long  

Friday, May 19, 2006



I haven't written much lately because, well, no reason I guess. I have felt a little blah. Mostly it's because I just haven't been sitting in front of my computer at home much lately. And that's because? Hmm.. I guess I just haven't felt like being on the computer.

I've been tired. It happens to me every few years. I get tired and all I want to do is sleep. I don't know what causes it. Doctors act like I'm a hypochodriac when I mention it. I had one doctor try to treat me for depression. But I'm not unhappy. Actually, everything is going very well. Any bump that's come along has smoothed out very nicely in a short amount of time. And I'm happy with everything in my life. The only thing I wish is that we had sold the house already. But it will sell.

Maybe I'm just bored. Work has been boring. I know it's not pc to rant about your workplace online. I just can't believe the way these projects are being managed. I can't believe the chaos and utter lack of leadership. If they'd just give me something to work on I'd be able to make a difference, but there's a definite lack of delegation and there are two people in particular that want to hoarde everything. And when they're overwhelmed all they get is sympathy. Sure, it's deserved. They work hard. But they'd do a much, much better job if they would hand over some of the work to the competent people around them who are just about begging to help out.

One of the girls I worked with left yesterday because she was so frustrated about not having anything to do.

It'll change though. And it's not so bad to get paid for doing nothing all day, is it? I fell like my brain is getting dull though. I need to do something useful with my day. Surfing the web for the fourth day in a row is driving me batty. Urgh.

Ok, so maybe that's why I'm tired and feeling bored -- lack of professional satisfaction. I don't know what I can do about it and I don't know why that should effect my home life.

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kat  

Thursday, May 04, 2006

I've probably mentioned before a while back that Matt and I are total reality tv junkies. Yes, I can hear the sighs of embarassment for me. But really, it's fun.



Anyway, on American Idol a few nights ago Katherine McPhee sang "Black Horse and The Cherry Tree". I had recently picked up KT Tunstall's new album, which has that song. I'm assuming it's the song in the top 10. I loved the performance and although Kat sounded a lot like KT, it was wonderful. Listening to KT's album it's a bit like I would imagine Kat recording, although I don't know if it would be as creative. Ah well, I still love Kat's voice. Put on some Elvis, baby!

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