gone long
Friday, May 19, 2006
I haven't written much lately because, well, no reason I guess. I have felt a little blah. Mostly it's because I just haven't been sitting in front of my computer at home much lately. And that's because? Hmm.. I guess I just haven't felt like being on the computer.
I've been tired. It happens to me every few years. I get tired and all I want to do is sleep. I don't know what causes it. Doctors act like I'm a hypochodriac when I mention it. I had one doctor try to treat me for depression. But I'm not unhappy. Actually, everything is going very well. Any bump that's come along has smoothed out very nicely in a short amount of time. And I'm happy with everything in my life. The only thing I wish is that we had sold the house already. But it will sell.
Maybe I'm just bored. Work has been boring. I know it's not pc to rant about your workplace online. I just can't believe the way these projects are being managed. I can't believe the chaos and utter lack of leadership. If they'd just give me something to work on I'd be able to make a difference, but there's a definite lack of delegation and there are two people in particular that want to hoarde everything. And when they're overwhelmed all they get is sympathy. Sure, it's deserved. They work hard. But they'd do a much, much better job if they would hand over some of the work to the competent people around them who are just about begging to help out.
One of the girls I worked with left yesterday because she was so frustrated about not having anything to do.
It'll change though. And it's not so bad to get paid for doing nothing all day, is it? I fell like my brain is getting dull though. I need to do something useful with my day. Surfing the web for the fourth day in a row is driving me batty. Urgh.
Ok, so maybe that's why I'm tired and feeling bored -- lack of professional satisfaction. I don't know what I can do about it and I don't know why that should effect my home life.
Tuesday, May 23, 2006 at 9:33:00 AM CDT
I'm bored too, but it's because of my lack of personal satisfaction. I should learn all my scales and modes like I should have done ten years ago. I should learn "Classical Gas". I should learn karate. I should stand on my head. I should eat a bug.
You need one of those posters with the kitten in a tree that says "Hang in There". If I had one, I would definitely hang it near my desk. I would probably throw darts at it. Maybe you need a poster that says "Hardly Working", or something like that. Or maybe you should stand on your head. Maybe you should eat a bug. Hey, maybe you could write an applet that eats bugs for you!
That's what I would do. If I could write applets. I can't. :(
Good luck.
Thursday, May 25, 2006 at 10:11:00 AM CDT
Interesting that unhappiness in the workplace is usually from too much work, or too little, or too much micro-management, or too little direction. It's a matter of extremes. We all like excitement, but we like it in bursts. Like my Mom used to say, "Work wouldn't be so bad if it weren't so damn DAILY!" Right. The stress...whatever it comes from... is so damn daily that there is no steam valve and we become a nightmare of nerves. To protect ourselves we become numb. And depressed? Perhaps. In any case, it's a drag.
Jian
Thursday, May 25, 2006 at 12:16:00 PM CDT
Thanks for your encouragement. :) It is a bit better this week. I've made some headway with some projects (mostly to get one canceled). I think part of it might have been meshing with some of the personalities I'm working with. It'll work out one way or another.
I think the people you work with are the most important thing on the job. Or course a job can't completely be horrible, but if you have people you get along with and you encourage each other, it makes a big difference.