Friday, April 28, 2006

My parents visited over Easter and it was a disaster. On the way out in their RV they managed a flat tire and my dad broke his arm. Not a good start. Everything was a little tense to start out with. In the end I ended up getting into a horrible fight with my mom.

I still feel horrible about the whole visit. I don't know how it could be more disasterous. Oh, yeah, they had another flat on the way home.

*sigh* My parents aren't in the best of health. My mom works hard and I fear that she pushes herself more than she needs to. My father hasn't had the best luck of late. I am afraid that this is their last time visiting me. Not because I think something is going to happen to them right away, but because it was such a horrible time. Why would they ever want to come back?

And I find myself delaying the thought of visiting. It was just so ugly and there are so many difficulties that have cropped up between us. I don't even want to visit.

I want to erase those four days, but I know there were problems even before then. I love my parents and I respect them, but I don't have the same beliefs and values that they do. I find myself biting my tongue most of the time I'm around them. It's not that I don't want to be myself, but it's just easier to let them think what they want and avoid nagging, criticisms, and anger. They're not very open-minded or very supportive of anything that doesn't fit into their idea of what's "right".

I don't know what I can do to make it better except give it time. I should visit this year sometime. My mom will probably working and my father will probably sleep through most of that time. But at least I'd be trying, right?

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1 comments: to “ parents

  • ƒåυνέ
    Monday, May 15, 2006 at 2:56:00 PM CDT  

    My parents and I, especially my mom and I, have issues. But I keep trying. I don't want to have any regrets. I want to be able to look back and know I did the best I could.
    Mostly, I end up biting my tongue a lot.


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