tales of an ordinary girl

I haven't written much lately because life has been hectic. I've also been tired and not feeling very well. I hardly feel like I can keep up with everything that's going on.

The biggest news is that I received a job offer today. The offer was verbal, and I haven't yet received a written offer, so I'm still not sure whether to believe this is happening or not. It's a six month contract, which makes me kind of nervous, but it's also a very good opportunity. I'll actually have an official job title with the word "manager" in it, although it'll also include "junior" as well. I think I'll be able to gain a lot of experience from this job as long as I'm working with people who are willing to mentor me a little bit. I think I'll be busy from the start, so I'm a little afraid that it will be overwhelming.

But it's a new job!! And just as rumors of more layoffs are looming at my current company. I haven't yet written a resignation letter and I won't resign until I recieve a written offer that meets the terms of what has already been discussed verbally. I am not looking forward to resigning. My current boss has been very nice to me and it's going to suck to quit and dump all of my work on him. But, I have to do what's best for me and my current job is certainly not what's best for me.

Also, school has been more demanding lately. The writing assignments have picked up. I usually have an assignment due each week in my technical writing class and I have a short story due in my creative writing class in three weeks. That's on top of all of the reading/studing and work-work and trying to relax and selling the house (which I've made no headway on as of late).

Which reminds me that I want to post some of my own poetry here. I will once I've been able to take the feedback I received in class and write another revision.

And I need to catch up on emails. I'm sorry I haven't written back yet, Mike. I plan to very soon. I just have to make it through work and class tomorrow.

Sorry for the lack of updates for a while. I've been busy. Imagine that. My desk is a mess at home and I have boxes and things all over the place. Hardly a conducive environment for selling a house, but we haven't had anyone seriously interested yet anyway.

Friday Matt took me out for my birthday and we had a great time up at the Great Wolf Lodge. There were lots of kiddies, but other than banging around a lot they didn't bother us. The room had a wonderful, large tub spa that was just amazing -- especially considering it was below zero that night.



We braved the cold weather to go to a movie at the VIP lounge at the Legends. It was Date Movie, which I wouldn't highly recommend, but the crude humor appealed to us that night and we laughed a lot. Then we ran (literally) over to Dave & Buster's for dinner and games. It was crowded. We put our name on the wait list and went to play games. We were in the middle of playing House of the Dead 4 when we were buzzed. (It was the only game we ended up playing as the wait wasn't really as long as advertised.) The food was better than expected. The service was worse than expected.

Saturday we drove home and vegged out all day. I spent most of the day on the same game of Civ IV. I'm addicted and I hate the Noble level. No one was bowing down to me as they should. I did eventually beat them all into submission thoroughly with no finesse. The day seemed to zoom by until I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore and was forced to go to bed.

Sunday we went to lunch with Matt's family for multiple birthday celebrations. And then back to Matt's mom's for cake and presents and lots of talk about blood, gore, and predators.

And as the weekend came to an end I was really wishing that President's Day was an observed holiday at my company. But it wasn't. The next morning when I couldn't find my key card and finally gave up in frustration, I called in sick. Then I found my key card five minutes later. It was fate!

But now I'm back at work and work has piled up. Do I regret the frivilous wasting away of the weekend? Not one tiny bit. I only wish it could have been longer.

I didn't get the job I applied for a few weeks ago. After three interviews and a lot of positive remarks from everyone there I had to call in order to find out that they weren't going to hire me. They posted for a Business Analyst, but it turns out that they really want a developer. I didn't meet the qualifications of what the position "evolved" into after three weeks of interviewing. What a big waste of time.

The worst part is that the lady in human resources was telling me that I should take away a lot from this experience and learn from it. Learn what? Learn that they wasted my time? It's fine that they don't want me for the position. It's rude to change the position requirements and then continue to consider me for the job only to rule me out at the end because I don't meet the new requirements.

Bleh.

Fabled
Faith

    You lie-
        in the dusky sweet slumber
            of an orange tinged afternoon.
The sun sets;
    gathering twilight and the
        songs of distant stars.
Shadow of a man-
        who rarely appears,
            until the darkness of moonrise.
    You're foreign in this light,
        a spirit,
            a ghost,
    better suited for my nights.
    I tentatively reach for you,
        and wait for the pink streaked
            signs of morning.

A new tea room near my house (the house that's soon to be sold) that I didn't even know existed. This is a must try, but Matt and I already have plans most of the weekend. So maybe we'll try it next week. Most of the food on the menu would not appeal to him, so I'll have to lure him in with promises of pastries.

Thanks, Fredo, for finding it for me.

For all of you that celebrate Valentine's Day and for all of you that don't, well wishes from me. Matt had to go out of town this morning, so it's just me, my books, and a class full of poetry reading. Yes, I'm serious. My creative writing class meets tonight and we'll be reading through student poetry for the first time. Hopefully it'll be a good class and I'll learn something. Or people will gossip about their relationships and it'll be entertaining. Something like that.

A coworker of mine sent me this link. Yes, the news continues to get worse about my company. More layoffs looming? Your guess is as good as mine.

Here's a link to a post from a friend of mine suggesting more music sites. He's the one that suggested Pandora Radio, which, unfortunately, is now blocked from work.



He also suggests liveplasma. I haven't looked into it yet though as far as recommending it.

This website claims to be able to match you up with ideal places to live within the US. I took the "quiz" and these places were my top 5:

Cincinnati, OH
Asheville, NC
Hickory, NC
Bloomington, IN
Carlisle, PA



Places where I've thought to live or have lived that made it on the results:

2. Asheville, NC
3. Hickory, NC
8. Lynchburg, VA
10. Overland Park, KS
11. Tacoma, WA
14. Charlotte, NC
17. Kent, WA

So it didn't do too bad of a job. On the other hand it also had these place where I'd probably never live:

5. Springfield, MO
21. Branson, MO

You may wonder why this is titled, "for Mike". Well, I found something interesting. Intersting to me anyway. A connection. Today I was reading Websnark and came across this article. And previously I read this entry. Both come from the same source. How's that for coincidence?

See, Mike reads this blog, but doesn't comment. Or at least he's read it once. So maybe I can goad him into saying something.

A Secret Life
Stephen Dunn

Why you need to have one
is not much more mysterious than
why you don't say what you think
at the birth of any ugly baby.
Or, you've just made love
and feel you'd rather have been
in a dark booth where your partner
was nodding, whispering yes, yes,
you're brilliant. The secret life
begins early, is kept alive
by all that's unpopular
in you, all that you know
a Baptist, say, or some other
accountant would object to.
It becomes what you'd most protect
if the government said you can protect
one thing, all else is ours.
When you write late at night
it's like a small fire
in a clearing, it's what
radiates and what can hurt
if you get too close to it.
It's why your silence is a kind of truth.
Even when you speak to your best friend,
the one who'll never betray you,
you always leave out one thing;
a secret life is that important.

... because I just finished reading Virtual Light last night ...

Out-of-body experiences? Near-death experiences? Researchers are beginning to understand how they occur and how they may alter the brain

- Steven Kotler

"She made me feel worth talking to, that what I said mattered; she capture and offered attention, something of a rarity in people these days, I think." - Thumper.

I just got home from an interview. There's always something about interviews that makes me feel uneasy. And even though I usually do pretty well, I always feel like I've done horribly. And what is up with sweating during interviews? I rarely, if ever, sweat (unless it's a good workout at the gym). Lately I've been sweating, but only in my mid-section during interviews. Ewww.

Anyway, now I've filled with a bunch of nervous energy and I'm not sure what to do with my evening. Matt's working. I have plenty of things I should be doing to get the house ready to sell, but I just want to relax. Maybe a glass of wine and a good book or movie will be the thing for the night.



I feel like a child in some ways. Small and nervous and yet, I know there's no reason to feel that way. Whatever happens, it's all going to work out eventually.

Layoffs were announced today. Not so much announced as people were taken back to a meeting while the rest of us were told that they were being let go and we needed to leave the building for a few hours.

I wasn't let go, but I felt bad for those who were. And the rest of the day was tense. I've heard that 10% of the company is being let go, but I don't know whether or not to trust the rumors. It's probably true, but the rest of the layoffs haven't happened yet from what I can tell. There will probably be more tomorrow.

It's been a crappy, crappy day.

Previous journal entries can be read here.